Wednesday 17 February 2010

Hmmm…. It’s been a funny time. I’m trying hard to settle back into my routine – as you would be aware by now, I get quite OCD about what I eat, exercise etc. But 2010 seems to be a year of chopping and changing, no routine to speak of and generally feeling fat and bloated. I think it kind of comes with the territory of being in a new relationship – you want to enjoy fun times with that person and fun times often lead to eating out (or in my case, a Magnum Ego at every cinema outing).

This morning I went to the supermarket and it was SO hard not to buy a million things I know I should not eat. It was the age-old “don’t shop when you’re hungry” issue – yesterday I ate very few carbs so this morning I was STARVING. I ended up buying an All-day Breakfast – which consists of baked beans with sausages and some other non-descript bits of meat and is a whopping 72g of carbs in a can!! I ate some of it for breakfast and threw about 1/3 away. I knew as soon as I poured it out to heat it that I’d never get through it all. Also, as I was eating it I just felt pang after pang of regret (yet I continued spooning it into my jaw). Talk about bloody OCD!!

Things are going well with me and Mark. Perhaps a little too well… I have this self-sabotage issue that I really must either get over or not enter into any relationships with people. At times I get all weird and assume that something bad is going to happen – we’re going to have a massive fight, he’s going to confess he is married with 3 kids etc. This affects my behaviour and since Mark appears to be so bloody in-tune with me he picks up on it and wonders why I am so strange all of a sudden. I don’t see it coming, and I don’t realise I am doing it until right in the middle or after it has all blown over. He’s very good though – he seems to just take all my nuttery in his stride. I’m starting to suspect that he really LIKES me. ;o)

I’ve got a new trainer at Vision – Mr PT could not find time for me to have PM sessions which has worked out really well in the end. The new trainer is fantastic – I’ve always loved her, but now that I am training with her I realise that she is actually a fabulous PT too!! Where Mr PT simply lifted weights on and off machines for me, she actually corrects my form, pushes me to do things I am moaning about doing etc. I didn’t realise just how little I was getting out of my previous trainer – oh how blinded I was!

The past few weekends have been flat out and this weekend will be no exception. It’s my Mum’s birthday as well as Mark’s best mates birthday party, so I’ll be at that for a while then heading to dinner (I think – she still hasn’t made up her mind on what she is doing!) for Mum. It’s fun to have lots of things to do, but I do at times feel pulled in all sorts of directions. The other thing is that uni is taking a back seat (once again) and I can’t let that continue. It is no-one’s fault but my own – I need to stop committing to so many things. Mark and I talked about the possibility of me having quarterly barbecues at my place to catch up with everyone – I love the idea, but am not sure I can wait 3 months to see my friends all the time!

I've settled in quite well I think to being 27. Not much change from 26 really. I do feel substantially more responsible though which is good, but then I go and do things like forgetting to remind Mark to go to my house and feed Jeff this morning. This resulted in the poor pup not eating till about 10:30am. I'm sure he's fine - he eats dirt and slugs anyway so generally finds himself quite nourished.

On the subject of Jeff - he is packing about 15kgs these days! He is huge but still has the face and the energy of a little puppy. I love that he bounds around and is just always so happy. Yesterday we went out for a walk and he was really really good on the lead, and loved it when we ran along so I think he is going to be a great little running buddy for me. He's learning Stay too - he's very good at it, it took him a little while as he just wants to be under my feet all the time so finds it hard not to follow me, but now he'll sit at the door until I say OK! and then he comes running in. It's really aodrable. 

- B xx